Dad accuses daughter of destroying the family after she exposes his affair during family lake trip, backlash his side of the family leads her to question her timing: "I chose a poor moment"

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    AITA for exposing my dad's affair during our family vacation?

    DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
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    Last week, my parents took us on a family trip to a lake upstate. I work away a lot and haven't really been around to see them much so it'd been planned a while in advance at a cabin a relative owns and we'd all been looking forward to meeting up again.
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    My dad was acting kind of weird in comparison to the last few years the whole time and didn't really engage as much as usual with our mom or the rest of the family, sitting in other rooms more often
    via u/weaselden
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    doing "nothing" and generally being disconnected. A couple days in we were having dinner and I saw his phone dinging with notifications from "Laura" before he moved it from the table into his pocket.
    via u/weaselden
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    Out of curiosity I looked at his phone as he was watching a movie and it was in the other room and I know his password is my sister's birth year on
    via u/weaselden
  • 07
    everything. Turns out he'd been having an affair for months behind my moms back. He had a tonne of back and forward pictures and discussion about meeting up again with another woman.
    via u/weaselden
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    CATS
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    I was going to keep quiet and focus on finishing the trip before heading back but sh hit the fan during an argument the night after, we collectively got dr_nk and his behaviour came up, things got ugly fast and I dropped a nuke by revealing I'd seen his phone and another woman.
    via u/weaselden
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    Total meltdown. Mom cried, my sister yelled, and Dad called me a "sneaky little sh" for destroying the family. They left early, and now his side of the
    via u/weaselden
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    family is harassing me for not handling it privately and it's miserable on my Mom's side. But he was never going to tell her. AITA for making sure she knew even if I chose a poor moment?
    via u/weaselden
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    Easy-Interaction7580 Bahahaha you're the sneaky little sh when your dad is sneaking around and having an affair. Projecting much pops!!?
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    Altruistic-Jellow Your mom deserves to know the truth even if it was a tough moment
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    Significant_Bed_293 Right?!? OP didn't destroy the family, his affair did
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    Independent Space639 Typical response. Deflect, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. DARVO.
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    NTA. You told almost immediately and you didn't hide it. Could it have come out more empathetic towards mom? Maybe. But you're wronged in this too, even as an adult child. That's your mom he wronged, your family he actively didn't give a sh― about while getting his rocks off. Nobody deserves that. She deserved to know.
    via u/Independent_Space639
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    Crystal_Charm_ You were put in a position where you had to choose between loyalty to your dad and honesty for your mom
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    epifauna NTA - It wasn't great timing but he shouldn't have ruined your family by having an affair. It wasn't your responsibility to keep that secret
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    TwinkleMossy Yes. It's not the responsibility of others to to protect someone from the consequences of their own choices.
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    Crystal_Charm_ It happened during a family vacation but sometimes the truth comes out in unexpected ways
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    thatgirl_riri3 NTA, Your mom had every right to know and you should not feel guilty, your dad brought it upon himself by having this dirty affair of his.
    via u/thatgirl_riri3
  • 23
    Sky-Cute874 Girl, you dropped truth bombs, and honestly, it sounds like it was long overdue. NTA-your dad's not the victim here. His actions caused the fallout, not your honesty. Too bad for him if he didn't want to take responsibility.
    via u/Sky-Cute874
  • 24
    stasia_1913 You definitely COULD have pulled your mum aside to tell her more gently, but TBH that's exactly what your dad deserved.
    via u/stasia_1913
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    Cute-Tea5184 NTA. Your dad's the one who blew up the family, not you. Sometimes honesty sneaks out at the worst moment, but you did your mom a solid. Better late than never, right?
    via u/Cute-Tea5184
  • 26
    Fluffy-Caramel9148 Well, what's done is done. You can't take it back. Seems like he was the one who was doing the deed and he is mad because he got caught and exposed. Totally understandable. While you probably could
    via u/Fluffy-Caramel9148
  • 27
    have done it with a little more tact, you can't go back in time. He was not being fair to your mom. It's probably for the best. Stay quiet and let things calm down. It's their relationship and they will have to work things out or part ways. Your dad is a big AH. You are just a little bit.
    via u/Fluffy-Caramel9148

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